Confidence is a characteristic that everyone seems to want.  You look up to those people who can walk around seemingly without a worry.  Who can stand up in front of a group and effortlessly speak.  Who can get people to follow them just by their words and actions.  It's like a super power.  

We have a natural tendency to notice the things we aren't good at.  As we focus on those areas you can get a complex that you are beneath others.  When you put YOURSELF into that group it's almost impossible to be confident.  How can you speak so effortlessly if in your mind you believe you are beneath your listeners?  

I have had severe confidence issues in my adulthood.  It stemmed from me not feeling smart enough do to my struggles in school in high school and college.  Once that lack of confidence started to snowball it started taking out other skillsets.  If I had no confidence in my intelligence, then how could I even think of sharing my thoughts publicly?  I all of a sudden could not speak in a group.  At all.  

Confidence has the power to destroy and it has the power to enable.  It just depends what direction you go with your confidence.  I also experienced it the other direction.  As I get more and more wins at work I all of a sudden felt like I could do anything.  I would add in all my wild ideas to team meetings.  I could speak in front of hundreds of people without any of the intense anxiety I had before.  

Here is how I went from no confidence to a lot of confidence.

1) Know Your Stuff: Confidence comes from achieving success.  In order to be successful you have to be good at something.  You can't just show up on a basketball court and become great.  The most confident basketball players have practiced for years and with that practice became good.  Become good at something.  When you start.....become good at ANYTHING.  You need to start somewhere.  Success in one area leads to success in other areas as you grow. 

2) Get Out of Your Comfort Zone:  You need to prove to yourself that you can do new things.  You need to break out of the box you have created for yourself where you just do stuff that's comfortable.  For me, it was joining Toastmasters.  I hated public speaking, but had to get out there and do it.  I was forced to speak every session.  As time went on I was able to get better and better, which built my confidence up.  

3) Understand That There Will Always Be Doubters:  As you grow and improve you will likely interact with more and more people.  It's natural that some of these people will think you're great and there will be others that will think you're mediocre.  That's part of life.  You cannot live your life needing to be loved by EVERYONE.  It's not possible.  Realize that as you get higher and higher the challenges will get greater.  More eyes will be on you.  Focus on YOU and not what other people think.  I remember my dad gave me the advice of, "It's none of your business what other people think of you".  Truth.  

Going on this confidence journey isn't easy.  You have to start though.  The more you act the faster the progress will be.  Start small and grow from there.  

School is in a very interesting place right now.  Most current school curriculum was driven from the needs of the industrial revolution.  Create obedient people who do what they're told.....repeatedly.

Show up on time.  Listen to your teacher.  Do the exact same work as everyone else no matter your talents.  Go to recess when the bell rings.  Find the "right" answer in your studies.  Get rewarded for finding more "right" answers than everyone else.  

I'll come out and admit right away that I was not a fan of school and struggled throughout.  I was NOT the person who always had the "right" answer.  When I did I usually had to work 2 to 3 times harder than my classmates to get there.  I thought I was an idiot for most of my youth and beneath all those "smart" people who just got the answers so easily. 

What I thought was a defect has actually turned into an asset for me in my career.  As we shift out of the industrial revolution and more towards a place where there isn't a "right" answer it's turning out that the people who NEED that right answer struggle a bit.  Things are now ambiguous.  You need to use other skills besides reciting from books to succeed. 

Are you curious?  Are you collaborative?  Do people like working with you?  Are you smart.....enough?  Do you think of new/unique ideas to solve problems?  Do you work your ass off?    

Traditional school does not give you a grade on any of the above.  You might have all of these skills and school tells you that you're dumb based on you not being the best as calculus or world history. 

When I look at talent around me I could not care the least about what school they went to or what GPA they had.  Are they willing to hold hands and think outside the box to solve unique challenges? 

Keep this in mind as this world shifts and different skillsets become required to succeed.  Grades are just one part of you, but I do not seem them as an important indicator of success.  Sadly, it took me years to realize this!  Do not let them hold you back from what you are capable of.       

You control your own destiny.  The times when you worked at a company for 40 years and got a solid pension is over.  The company was your safety shield.  If you followed orders, didn't piss anyone off and executed you'd be good.  In these crazy COVID times companies are laying off their "loyal" employees as quickly as they can to stay afloat.

As turbulent as these times are I also think they're very exciting.  The person who follows orders and doesn't do anything extraordinary is at risk.  That was the safe thing to do before and now I think it is the least safe thing you could possibly do. 

A good test that I like to think through is if there was a group of people who decide my faith at a company.....what would they say about me?  Would it be hard for them to think of anything?  Do I just do the basic stuff and stand out at NOTHING?  Or am I seen as the most innovative thinker in the group?  Or am I the person that needs to be brought in to think through a startup challenge? 

The follower and order taker is the person who people have a hard time thinking of things that make them astounding.  I have been in the room when talent is discussed and it's very awkward when names are brought up and there is a room of silence.  No one has anything to say???  Not good. 

Sadly, many times these people are doing exactly what's on their work plan.  Checking off boxes.  Updating their manager every week on progress.  The manager is nodding.  The manager isn't hearing anything negative.  That doesn't sound bad, right?  

You do not want to be this person.  I actually think it would kind of suck to be this person.  Just doing what needs to be done.  Not leveraging an exceptional talent.  Not pushing the team or org in a unique direction.  Not making the organization better in any way.  

It takes some guts to push outside of what's on your work plan.  It's not easy.  No one gave you permission to think more broadly than that, right?  I am hear to tell you that you don't need permission.  Do it.  Your organization needs your smart mind operating at the highest levels.  Not just pushing paper around. 

YOU need yourself operating at the highest levels.  That gives you energy.  People WANT to be challenged at work.  Challenge yourself if your work plan isn't delivering on that.  Plus, you need to stand out in some way.  Delivering the work plan is no longer enough.  EVERYONE is delivering the work plan.  

Find a place where something could be done better and do it.  Period.  Take on the challenge.  Bring in people.  Update your manager on what you're doing.  Make.  It.  Happen.  

I've worked at a Fortune 25 firm for the past 10 years and run my own small business for the same amount of time.  The amount of change we have seen over these years is pretty unreal and I expect it to accelerate over the next 10.  Here are a few that I have seen firsthand. 

- People are watching less and less TV, which was the go to media platform to drive awareness of your brand for 50 or so years.  

- eCommerce is a thing.  Bezos was seen as a whack when he started selling books online.....and now he is the richest person in the world.  eComm will continue to expand.  In China eComm is 50% of sales.  I believe it is around 20% in the US now. 

- Startups can wreak havoc on HUGE companies/industries that have dominated for decades.  Dollar Shave Club.  Uber.  AirBnB.  Netflix.  Amazon vs. Everything.  It can happen very quickly. 

- AI/Machine Learning is changing industries by doing processing jobs cheaper, faster and more reliably than humans.  As the AI gets smarter it will overtake more and more of what humans are currently doing. 

- Schools have become less relevant and will continue to do so if major changes aren't made in curriculum and costs.  Are they educating their students to live in a world that I just mentioned in the examples above?  If not, then their relevance will continue to decline. 

There are lots of examples of companies who did not see the consumer behavior changing and got overtaken.  I think that is a sign that the people at those companies were not living in reality.  Either they underestimated the speed that the change would occur or were just living in LA LA Land thinking their business would not need to adjust.  Either way.....they are finished.  

The people who are seeing these trends and respecting them are the ones that will win long term.  That requires the person to be unique.  Most people aren't seeing these trends.....or are choosing to ignore them because at this very moment things are good.  Be careful of what these people tell you.  Too many people are have the attitude of playing not to lose....versus playing to win.  

Playing not to lose makes you conservative.  Playing not to lose makes you uncomfortable hearing differing points of view.  Playing not to lose requires lots of yes men/women around you.  Playing not to lose stifles innovation.  It's safe.  Safe worked for a very long time, but now playing it safe is absolute worst thing you can do. 

I am not calling for drastic measures.  Quitting your job to start a business.  Dropping out of school.  No.  I am just recommending that people start broadening their horizons.  Become aware of what is happening around you and put yourself in a position to gain longer term. 

Are your current skillsets where they need to be to be successful long term?  If not, then start taking some classes.  Is your current attitude towards work just following orders and doing what people say?  Are these people aware of what is coming?  If you are comfortable taking orders, then maybe start recommending some things that would be in the organizations best interest long term?  That might make some people feel uncomfortable, but the people who really matter will see that you are thinking about the future and are planning for it.  You will become an asset and someone they want to keep. 

Stay on top of things.  This might not help you today or next week, but it will help you in the next 2 to 5 years as more and more disruption occurs.  Do not be the person left out asking yourself where you went wrong!